100

Today, I’m celebrating my 100th like on Facebook! I was thinking today about how much we expect parenting to be like the number 100, particularly 100%. New parents often expect themselves to be 100% all the time. Those beautiful parents on Instagram with the healthy lunches and fun, engaging learning activities are operating at 100% all the time, right!? Be more like them, we say to ourselves. If they can do it, so can we.

Well. It’s this type of thinking that has been detrimental to the minds of new parents, and these (and all) feelings are compounded during a worldwide pandemic. Becoming a parent is chock full of expectations, self-doubt, and judgement. We judge our partners, we judge other parents, and perhaps most hurtfully, we judge ourselves.

Many expectant parents have a picture on their heads of what life would be like with a newborn. It probably involves whimsical walks through the woods with baby in a sling, or taking long, leisurely naps, or passing the baby from friend to friend as baby is fast asleep in their sweet new, white outfit. Reality is probably more like, feeding the baby, wondering if you’re doing the right thing for the baby, feeling desperate for a nap, feeding the baby again, changing baby into their 6th outfit of the day after another blow-out, and feeling disappointed that your expectations didn’t align with reality (especially with Covid factored in).

This is all normal and common. Sure, some people have dreamy maternity leaves that are precisely what they expected, but in my experience, this is the exception, not the norm. Being a new parent is HARD. Having support from family, friends, or a doula can help. Remember that this time will pass (I won’t say quickly because I know those first weeks can sometimes seem like years). It’s okay to operate at 75% or 50% or even 20% right now. You will figure this out. You will have days where you feel like you are one of those Insta-Moms and you just know that you are the best mom in the world. But even on the days that feel like a struggle, what you are giving to your child is exactly what they need. 100%.

Thanks to ALL of my Facebook followers and supporters. I appreciate every single one of you!